How My Dreams Guided Me through Work Challenges
By BR
It all started with a persistent but fragmented dream. In the dream I saw myself starting a new project at work. I wrote the dream down and wondered if the new project could ever come about.
A short while later my boss and I began discussing the possibility of the project I'd dreamed about. I was allowed to begin putting it into place within the company. I felt very gratified at being able to follow my dreams and thanked the Inner Master, Wah Z.
Then my dreams took a new turn.
I had a vivid one I recorded in my journal: "My boss is sitting patiently but hopefully waiting for me to quit my job and leave the company. I go to her and ask if she is ready to let my coworkers know I am leaving at the beginning of the month. As I speak to her, a wave of anxiety comes over me. I do not have another job lined up. How will I cover the mortgage on my house? Then a voice tells me I am experiencing fear. 'There is no room for fear,' it says. I start jumping for joy, realizing I am going to my next step in life."
When I woke up, I felt confused. I had followed my earlier dreams and started this new project. No one else could assume the task. What was Divine Spirit telling me? Where would I go without a job?
I decided to see if the dream had any truth in outer life.
Not long after this, conflict arose at work. Several confrontations with a powerful administrative committee actually resulted in one officer saying, "We may need to get rid of you if you don't cooperate." Five months later, it was clear what Divine Spirit was telling me: "You are no longer needed at this particular job. You can learn and give more somewhere else." But how would I find another job?
One day I gathered up my courage and stepped into my boss's office. We discussed the situation quietly. Then I took a chance and told her about my dreams.
My boss, stunned by my revelations, said, "You're very perceptive, Beth. I can't say too much more, just that you're right about needing to move on."
Then she continued in a more thoughtful vein, "I have always really liked you. I don't know why that is, or why others in the company are opposed to you." We agreed I would leave as soon as they found a replacement for my position. I promised to make the transition as comfortable as possible for the company.
From that moment my boss and I became closer. But weeks passed and neither the company nor I seemed able to part. I was having real trouble finding a new job. Everyone seemed to procrastinate in finding a replacement for me. Problems arose from every direction with the clients I was serving, delaying my departure.
Various people in the company seemed to want me to stay, but no one would say anything. It was as if they were waiting for me to change my mind.
I had difficulty reconciling the idea of being forced out of a job I loved, with clients I had faithfully served. My decision to leave my comfortable, tailor-made job seemed quite irrational. Was I heading for disaster? Others had been forced out of the company just like me, and clients had suffered. Shouldn't I stand up for my rights and help put a stop to this kind of behavior? Every time doubt set in, anger and resentment crept into my heart. I consulted several lawyers to see what recourse was available.
But I really did not want to pursue litigation. It was too financially and emotionally draining. Plus, the persistent image of "jumping for joy at my next step in life" had taken residence in my mind.
Each day, I contemplated on the situation. The answer and feeling I always got was, "Leave!" Not too subtle.
So I finally set a deadline. In two months, I would leave the company even though still uncertain about my future. This was truly a test of faith.
My attitude changed, and I began to pour love into the entire situation. My boss gave me a nice letter of recommendation. I cleaned and organized everything in my office. Every loose end was tied up. I made peace and chatted amicably with two staff members I had clashed with in the past.
When the time came, I left as quietly and inconspicuously as possible. Unexpectedly, the company gave me two weeks' severance pay.
Exactly two weeks after I quit, I found a wonderful new job. I am entering my next step with such joy and satisfaction! I now have an inkling of what Sri Harold Klemp meant when he said we must live gracefully in accord with Divine Spirit.
Excerpted from the 1996 ECKANKAR Journal, copyright © 1995 ECKANKAR. All rights reserved.
