God Answered My Letter!
Spring break of my final year of high school, my girlfriend Erin and I were riding a Greyhound bus bound for Toronto to visit her mother. We had been giggling and talking when suddenly a gentleman sitting in the seat directly in front of me turned around and looked right at me. His eyes seemed to penetrate me in such a way that I became quite uncomfortable. To break his gaze, I shut my eyes and pretended to fall asleep. When at last I opened my eyes, he had turned back aroundmuch to my relief.
After this trip I dreamed about this man. In my dreams he would knock on the back door of my parents' house. When I answered the door, he would just stand there looking at me. I had no idea who he was, but his presence was compelling.
Many years passed. I was a newly married actress, living just outside of Toronto. Since graduating from theater school, I had begun seeking answers to questions about the purpose of existence. One day I sat down at my typewriter and typed a letter to God. "If I have a spiritual guide, I would very much like to connect consciously with him," I wrote.
The church I was brought up in no longer answered my deepest questions: What am I doing here? Is heaven only for a special group? Is there such a thing as reincarnation?
I had read about reincarnation when I was younger, and it made sense to me. Why else would I have detailed dreams of places I have never been before?
Not long after I typed my note to God, I had an audition for a play. The morning of the audition I felt inspired, happy, and joyous. The monologue I chose to do was the role of a hunchbacked nun praying to Jesus. In the monologue she confides her longing to be closer to Godjust the way I felt!
The audition went very well, and I left more uplifted and inspired than ever. I took a long walk to bask in the joyous moment and wandered into an old, nondescript secondhand bookstore. All at once I knew that I must have a book about Soul!
I walked to a bookshelf, and there it was, right in front of meIn My Soul I Am Free. It was about the teachings of Eckankar. It told me that I am Soul and have a very distinct purpose for being here: to become a Co-worker with God. It spoke of the Living ECK Master, the spiritual leader of Eckankar, who guides students both outwardly and inwardly in dreams and through the Spiritual Exercises of ECK.
After I read the book, I did a spiritual exercise it suggested for contacting the Light and Sound of God. I sat on the floor in my bedroom and put my attention lightly on my Third Eyethe spot between my eyebrowsand sang HU, a love song to God. After a few minutes, I began to hear a very high-pitched humming sound. It occurred to me that I had been hearing this sound since I was a little girl, lying in bed at night! When I had asked my mother about it, she had simply replied that it was the Sound of Silence. The sound had always brought me comfort and a feeling of belonging.
A short time later, I examined the photograph of Paul Twitchell, the modern-day founder of Eckankar, on the back cover of the book. I recognized his eyes. It was Paul who had appeared to me that day on the Greyhound bus and later in my dreams. The presence of the Mahanta had been with me all along, preparing me for the spiritual training that was to come into my life twelve years later.
At last my questions were answered. I knew that I could turn to this very special Master for the spiritual direction and guidance I had been longing for. My letter to God had been answered!
I became a member of Eckankar with no hesitation. I had complete trust that my questions had answers. Now each day presents me with the opportunity to love and grow to my fullest spiritual potential.
Excerpted from the 2001 ECK Spirituality Today, copyright © 2000 ECKANKAR. All rights reserved.