I want to be social and hang out with friends, but what do I do when everyone only wants to drink and smoke? I feel like 99 percent of people in my age-group do it, so how do I stay on my path without isolating myself?

What can I say to them? Also, a few ECK friends and I have another question: If a youth in ECK decides to drink or experiment with drugs, smoking, etc., is there still a place for him in ECKANKAR?

—Veronica,
Illinois

Dear Veronica,

Drinkers, smokers, and users of illegal drugs have auras that harm both them and others within their circle. To nurture such friendships is playing with fire.

Early in life, I was thrown in with people of this kind, and they tried many approaches to have me join them. I declined politely but firmly. They wanted my approval; I did not need theirs.

ECK was my way!

Choices. Life is all about choices. Some bring us down, others leave us unchanged, and the right ones lift us spiritually. Choices so often are tests.

Any who indulge in the destructive practices you mention are gathering a store of bad karma, which will later need to be addressed. Why anyone would choose such a dangerous undertaking is proof they have given the ECK teachings a backseat.

Your question really gets down to finding love and happiness. When you prove yourself worthy of love, all else will be added unto you.

(from January 2011 Letter of Light)

I have decided that drinking, smoking, and drugs are not for me. I do, however, go dancing or to parties with my friends where people drink or smoke. Should I stop doing this? Does it harm my spiritual development? I am also having a tough time with the amount of smoke around me on a daily basis. I try to avoid the smoke, but it is everywhere. I can’t help but wonder if it is affecting me spiritually, since I understand Z won’t stay around smoke.

—Freya,
Wisconsin

Dear Freya,

What price fun?

The answer, of course, is the amount of tumult you’re willing to put up with in your spiritual life. So, how much tolerance do you have?

This is something you alone can determine, for everyone must deal with trade-offs. If you want this, you must give up that. Life is all about choices. It means being willing to accept the pain for wrong choices, which are tempered by the benefits that come from the right ones.

There surely is a connection between our habits and spiritual unfoldment. Your friends, undoubtedly, can deal with smoke and the like. But is their well-being your own?

The path of ECK is simply about showing people the easiest, most direct way to reach God-Realization. It is not about making them feel guilty. Nor is it about making them fearful about whatever they please to do, because they feel the need to experience everything to unfold spiritually.

One of the lessons we thus learn is to be kind to ourselves. It means looking carefully at the things we habitually do and replacing them with habits that achieve that.

So, Freya, the sky’s the limit. Exercise your free will for all it’s worth. When you’re ready to make changes in your life you will, because everything begins and ends with you.

(from July 2005 Letter of Light)