How do I learn to truly love myself and build self-esteem? I have struggled with self-esteem, weight issues, and a core lack of confidence for many years. I have read many ECK books searching for the answer, but I still don’t know. Is there a practical tool or spiritual exercise that will help? Plus, what is the spiritual significance of such a barrier?

—Selina,
Australia

Dear Selina,

There is a single reason for the three problems you mentioned. It is simply fear.

We may fear another’s rejection.

So we, in fact, line up a bunch of excuses for the occasion when someone does reject us. And yet, we’re thus laying the groundwork for future unhappiness too. We gain weight to be unattractive. But in doing so, we also shut the door on possible opportunities to meet people who could bring us happiness.

Poor self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence are, for the most part, the very same problem.

What’s at play here? A fear of rejection!

To counter such a possibility, we go halfway to meet any and all rejections before they even get a chance to occur. It is an upside-down way of living. We go to great lengths to make the negative expressions of fear come true. It’s no wonder we’re unhappy, isn’t it?

The question now is, What to do about it?

So fear is your assailant. Love is the antidote. Whenever you become aware of fear trying to throw you back into old, negative patterns, know that Sugmad, the ECK, and the Mahanta do love you. In recognition of this divine love, sweetly sing one of the holy names. This will gradually let you love yourself and build self-esteem.

(from July 2006 Letter of Light)